Quoteable:

“If Eggo can’t beat me this week, he never will!!”
— FrogLickers owner David Zilberfarb, prior to losing to MIA 30-25 in week one.

“Please thank Trez for drafting for me this year. His position is Personnel Fill-In LEVEL 1. He is commissioned at 1/2 team earnings.”
— Raptors owner Chris Lieberman. (Editor’s note: last time I checked, half of nothing was still nothing.)

“Looking at my roster the obvious question that comes to mind is ‘Was I brain-dead on draft day or what?’ This could be a long season.”
— Blizzard owner, and defending champion, Doug Weaver.

“My trade for Mike Anderson doesn’t look all that bad right now does it Nick? The root pal.”
— Nightmare owner Dan Callahan, top scorer in week one.