By CBS Fantasy Football AI Journalist

Big Oregon Bang took yet another hit to the loss column, while Connecticut Wildcats won their 3rd in a row. That plus a very lucky win for Dallas Armadillos in this week’s report.

Wish Granted

Dallas Armadillos and Puka Nacua somehow, someway walked away with a win this week

Coaches Paul Gilgallon and Sam McClain may have forgotten what it was like to win after losing three straight. Big Oregon Bang were friendly enough to remind them. In the only close game this week, Dallas Armadillos just barely got past Big Oregon Bang, winning 53 to 51. Big time luck for Dallas Armadillos in this contest, as they would have lost against all but one other team.

With the win, they moved to 5 – 5, good for the top spot in the Cappelletti division. Another defeat makes it three in a row for Big Oregon Bang, which gives them a 3 – 7 record.

Puka Nacua separated himself from the rest of the crew on Dallas Armadillos, tallying 18.5 points. That gave him the most points on Dallas Armadillos for the first time this season.

Big Oregon Bang suffered through poor performances from Gus Edwards, Mike Williams, and Travis Etienne, who collectively scored only 3.5 points. Underperforming is the new normal for Etienne, who has gone seven straight games without hitting his projected point total.

The Cappelletti division lead will be at stake when Dallas Armadillos takes on Miami Muffdivers next week. The game against Miami Muffdivers will feature the two luckiest teams in the league, so be on the lookout for four leaf clovers.

Meanwhile, Big Oregon Bang will take on Chicago Mud. Big Oregon Bang have now been the favorite in both their last two games, and failed to perform both times. The experts might not give them the benefit of the doubt in their next one.

More Please

Tee Higgins and New Chester Thorobreds stay hot against Mercer Mustangs

New Chester Thorobreds had gotten terrible production out their wide receivers this season (4th worst in the league), but this week it was a whole different story. New Chester Thorobreds used a big game from their wide receivers to take down Mercer Mustangs 82 to 40. Tee Higgins scored 21.5 points, Jerry Jeudy got 20, and George Pickens dropped 9. Higgins posted 148 receiving yards on Sunday, 42 of which came from this huge TD.

Meanwhile, Mercer Mustangs had many underperformers, but Kirk Cousins stood out, totaling zero points. No other player scored fewer points than that this week. He was taken out of the game on Sunday, but not before throwing this awful interception.

Garrett Wilson has to share in some of the blame as well, coming up with 10.3 fewer points than he was expected to. He was probably the biggest let down this week, since he was projected to put up 12.3 points. Mercer Mustangs only had one player who gave a passable performance this week, with Ka’imi Fairbairn scoring 10 points.

New Chester Thorobreds have now finished off three straight opponents after this win, which brings their record to 6 – 5. The loss drops Mercer Mustangs to 5 – 6, the first time they’ve been below .500 this year.

They Shall Not Pass

Cooper Kupp and Connecticut Wildcats deny Nicholas Fisher a 4th straight win

Philadelphia Griffins entered this week’s game with a three game winning streak, but couldn’t keep it going against Connecticut Wildcats. Connecticut Wildcats crushed Philadelphia Griffins, winning 90 to 55. The win is part of a larger trend for Connecticut Wildcats. In each of the last three weeks they have scored more points than the week before.

The victory makes it three in a row for Connecticut Wildcats, giving them a record of 7 – 3. The loss drops Philadelphia Griffins’ record to 3 – 7.

Cooper Kupp and Breece Hall were the prime movers for Connecticut Wildcats, racking up 22 and 22.5 points, respectively. Hall’s performance this week stopped his three game streak of not meeting his projections. He scored his first touchdown since Week 7 on this play, but he didn’t wait nearly as long to score his next.

Philadelphia Griffins lost due to the efforts of some repeat offenders this week. Jeremy McNichols scored 0.5 points, Nick Chubb got 3, and Michael Pittman dropped 3.5. Pittman has now failed to top the league average wide receiver in five straight games.

Coach Nicholas Fisher’s lineup matched the poor performance of his team. He left De’Von Achane and his 12.9 expected points on the bench, favoring McNichols (2.4 points expected).

This terrible decision shaved 12.5 points from Philadelphia Griffins’ score. It also made Coach Fisher the worst performing gameday coach this week.

Relief

Jauan Jennings’ 17 points help get Keystone Longfellows back on track

After last week’s 44.5 point effort, Keystone Longfellows (3 – 8) came through big time this week. They wound up with a solid victory margin against Orange Co. Beach Dudes (2 – 7 – 1), winning 86.5 to 75.5.

The game gave sweet relief to one team, even though both teams needed it. Orange Co. Beach Dudes came into the game on a four game losing streak With the win, Keystone Longfellows put an end to their five game losing streak.

Jauan Jennings led a very balanced group of five overperformers for Keystone Longfellows this week, recording 17 points [No Second] Jauan Jenningswas tied for being the best on the team, doing 9 points better than the average player at his position.(1) Williams helped out as well, exceeding his projected point total by 10.4 points. There was something familiar about the way he scored this 64-yard touchdown on Sunday.

Over in the loser’s circle, Orange Co. Beach Dudes got a big game from Taysom Hill. Hill scored 34 points, which were the most of any tight end this season. Unfortunately, for Orange Co. Beach Dudes, he both began and ended the list of big performers on the squad this week.

Coaches dan callahan and Ross Hessler will have a hard time pinning the blame for this loss on any particular player. Russell Wilson was the worst of a five man group of underperformers on Orange Co. Beach Dudes, scoring only 2 points.(2) Coaches dan callahan and Ross Hessler were no doubt hoping for more from Wilson’s first venture off the bench. He was held without a touchdown on Sunday (he came close, but threw a pick instead).

Track Meet

Boxboro Blowfish and Frelinghuysen Froglickers had a shoot out that Amon-Ra St. Brown put his mark on

Frelinghuysen Froglickers came into this week’s match-up on a five-game win streak, but Boxboro Blowfish put an end to that. Boxboro Blowfish gave Frelinghuysen Froglickers a 120 to 92 drubbing. Taking the loss, Coach David Zilberfarb can at least take solace in the fact that they helped combine for the highest total score this season.

The win brings Boxboro Blowfish to 7 – 3, and sends them to the top of our internal power rankings. The loss drops Frelinghuysen Froglickers’ record to 8 – 2.

This game featured a matchup of league-leading running backs Saquon Barkley and Derrick Henry, but only one of them lived up to expectations. SaQuads did great for Boxboro Blowfish, tallying 28 points. He scored not one but two touchdowns with less than five minutes remaining in the fourth quarter.

On the flip side, King Henry was not having a typical Derrick Henry week, totaling only 10 points. That’s the 2nd worst game that Henry has produced this year.

The other players on Boxboro Blowfish had Barkley’s back, coming up with 92 points. Of that crew, Amon-Ra St. Brown led the way with 30.5 points. That topped all but two wide receivers this season.

That’s a Wrap

Cameron Dicker and Chicago Mud put an end to Miami Muffdivers’ three game streak

Chicago Mud made sure that they didn’t become the 4th straight team to lose to Miami Muffdivers. Chicago Mud got past Miami Muffdivers, winning 82 to 74.5. The win brings Chicago Mud’s record to 8 – 2, while dropping Miami Muffdivers to 5 – 5.

Chicago Mud were a picture of symmetry, winning with a very balanced lineup. Cameron Dicker was the best player, scoring 12, while Jonathan Taylor was the worst on the team with 4.5.1 Chicago Mud is still perfect in games where Dicker overperforms, going 3 – 0.

Meanwhile, Coach Pat landy will find no easy scapegoat for this week’s loss. Miami Muffdivers were brought down by four underperformers, the worst of whom was Tyler Lockett (1 point). This is the 2nd time this year that he was the worst starter on his team.

Chicago Mud will face off against Big Oregon Bang next week. Chicago Mud might be feeling pretty confident about that game, as Big Oregon Bang limps in on a three game losing streak. Chicago Mud will have to play without Alvin Kamara, who has a bye week.

Next week will feature a mirror image matchup when the 5 – 5 Miami Muffdivers take on the 5 – 5 Dallas Armadillos. The game will pit the two teams with the most lucky wins against each other.

Bye Week: HVV Violence 40.5 points

(1) Player didn’t have most points on team, but did the best compared to their position
(2) Player didn’t have fewest points on team, but did the worst versus their positional average