by CBS Fantasy Football AI Journalist

Frelinghuysen Froglickers won their 3rd in a row, while Keystone Longfellows took yet another hit to the loss column. Meanwhile, Boxboro Blowfish beat Mercer Mustangs within an inch of their lives as part of this week’s exciting action.

Uh…Maybe Next Time

Saquon Barkley helps Boxboro Blowfish win a laugher this week against Mercer Mustangs

There were several blowouts this week, but none bigger than this one. Boxboro Blowfish perfectly destroyed Mercer Mustangs, winning 97.5 to 34. Blowouts are typical for these teams these days, as they’ve both been in blowout games for the last three weeks.

The victory makes it three in a row for Boxboro Blowfish, bringing their record to 3 – 0. The loss drops Mercer Mustangs’ record to 2 – 1.

Boxboro Blowfish got more than half their points from just two players: Saquon Barkley and Dak Prescott. SaQuads alone scored 29 points, which were good for 2nd place among all players this week. He managed to outrun half of New Orleans’ defenders on this wild 65-yard score.

Meanwhile, Mercer Mustangs had three stooges, with Ka’imi Fairbairn, Justice Hill, and Derek Carr racking up 5 points. Coach Jim Waugh found out why Carr was available on the waiver wire this week. He could only muster 142 passing yards on Sunday, partially because his offensive line couldn’t stop much.

Coaches cathy weaver and Doug Weaver added a perfect lineup to their win, which involved more than just going chalk. They left Jayden Daniels and his 14.5 expected points on the bench, favoring Dak Prescott (10.9 points expected).

This decision boosted Boxboro Blowfish’s final score by 6 points, which just made the final result that much more embarrassing. Coaches cathy weaver and Doug Weaver’s decisions this week allow them to relinquish their title as the worst gameday coach in the league (Coach Paul Gilgallon wears the crown now).

Oh My Josh!

23 points from Josh Allen helps give New Chester Thorobreds the win

Orange Co. Beach Dudes came up with a truckload of points last week. This week…not so much. They got absolutely demolished by New Chester Thorobreds, losing 80.5 to 34. The loss drops Orange Co. Beach Dudes’ record to 1 – 1 – 1, while the win brings New Chester Thorobreds to 1 – 2.

New Chester Thorobreds had two main stars in Amari Cooper and Josh Allen, who together recorded 43.5 points. Allen’s 23 point performance was the 2nd best of any quarterback this week. Quite an improvement from last week, when he managed only 4 points.

New Chester Thorobreds also got a big effort from Aaron Jones (11.5 points above expected). Jones had to vault over a defender to put the Vikings up by two scores on Sunday.

Meanwhile, Coaches dan callahan and Ross Hessler can look to James Conner and Josh Jacobs when passing out blame for the loss. The two combined to score only 3 points. Orange Co. Beach Dudes were also hurt by the 3rd straight game that Mark Andrews has failed to exceed his expected points.

Deluge

Kyren Williams came up huge for Connecticut Wildcats in this high flying contest

It’s probably been tough for Coach Ron Yeany to stay awake while following his recent games. The previous two games were blowouts, and this week’s action was no different. Connecticut Wildcats (3 – 0) stomped all over Big Oregon Bang (1 – 2) 117.5 to 85.5. The two teams combined for the highest score so far this season.

Tough luck loss for Big Oregon Bang, who would have won against eight other teams this week. With the win and those 117.5 points, Connecticut Wildcats now sits at the top of every component in the CBS power rankings.

Connecticut Wildcats got a nice group performance in the win, as six players beat their positional averages. Kyren Williams was the best of the bunch, scoring 26 points. Williams overperformed his expectations by more than any other player. Catching a great pass and getting it to the end zone wasn’t enough for him: he had to flip over a defender for the score.

While balance might be good for gymnasts, it didn’t help Big Oregon Bang this week. DK Metcalf paced the team by beating the average wide receiver by 7.9 points, while Travis Etienne (3.4 points worse than the average running back) was the worst on the team.

Coach Wayne rupert’s gameday decisions have been the best in the league so far this season, and his brilliance was on display again this week. He started Drake London instead of Sam LaPorta, despite the experts’ prediction that LaPorta should have played.

This decision gave Big Oregon Bang a nice 11 point bonus, which obviously wasn’t close to enough. This makes it back-to-back weeks where Coach Rupert has outsmarted the experts.

Demolition Derby

23 points from Ja’Marr Chase lead Frelinghuysen Froglickers in huge blowout

This was expected to be a blowout, and Frelinghuysen Froglickers didn’t disappoint. They took everything from Keystone Longfellows but the kitchen sink this week, winning 88.5 to 46.5. Frelinghuysen Froglickers have now exceeded the league average point total in three straight games.

Frelinghuysen Froglickers have now won three games in a row, which brings their record to 3 – 0. The loss makes it three in a row for Keystone Longfellows, which gives them a 0 – 3 record.

Ja’Marr Chase and Derrick Henry were the prime movers for Frelinghuysen Froglickers, tallying 23 and 25.5 points, respectively. Chase’s 23 point performance topped all but four players this week.(1) He scored his first touchdown of the season on Monday, then scored his second a few quarters later.

Meanwhile, Keystone Longfellows suffered through poor performances from Zamir White, Chase McLaughlin, and Jameson Williams, who collectively scored only 2.5 points. White has now failed to hit his expected points in any game so far this year.

Coach David Zilberfarb might have gotten the victory this week, but it wasn’t due to their efforts. They went with Brock Bowers over the higher ranked Jakobi Meyers.

This decision shaved 12 points from Frelinghuysen Froglickers’ score, which–thankfully for Coach Zilberfarb–didn’t matter much this game. After their decisions this week, Coach Zilberfarb have now cost their team points for the season (3 points worse than the experts).

Smooth Operator

Coach Feldman and Jonathan Taylor secure the win

Forget the teams, it’s Coach Ronnie Feldman that is the big winner this week. He started Brian Robinson Jr. instead of D’Andre Swift, despite the experts’ prediction that Swift should have played.

This decision netted Coach Feldman an extra 6.5 points and was the difference in the game, as Chicago Mud (2 – 0) slid by Philadelphia Griffins (0 – 3), winning 64 to 60.

Chicago Mud were led by the tag team of Jonathan Taylor and Khalil Shakir, who together totaled 34.5 points. Taylor left the Bears in the dust when he took off on this 29-yard score.

Meanwhile, there were plenty of chefs cooking up this week’s loss for Philadelphia Griffins. De’Von Achane was the worst of a six man group of underperformers, totaling only 2.5 points.(2) Achane hopefully has some credit left over from last week’s 20.5 point performance. He had to have given the most disappointing performance, having been projected to score 19.3 points.

These teams will see a difference in the quality of their upcoming opponents. The Paterno division lead will be at stake when Chicago Mud takes on Frelinghuysen Froglickers next week. Frelinghuysen Froglickers will come into the game undefeated.

Meanwhile, Philadelphia Griffins will take on Dallas Armadillos, who comes into the game looking for their first win. Philadelphia Griffins have now been the favorite in both their last two games, and failed to perform both times. The experts might not give them the benefit of the doubt in their next one (regardless of Dallas Armadillos’ issues).

One Sided Affair

Joe Burrow leads Miami Muffdivers in an easy win

Miami Muffdivers didn’t give Happy Valley Violence a chance this week, blowing past them 51 to 27.5. The two teams combined for the lowest score so far this season. The win brings Miami Muffdivers’ record to 1 – 2, while dropping Happy Valley Violence to an identical 1 – 2.

The rest of Coach Pat landy’s team were basically spectating, as Joe Burrow, Stefon Diggs, and James Cook combined for 80% of Miami Muffdivers’ points. Burrow finally put up some big passing numbers this week (324 yards and three touchdowns) but it still wasn’t enough to win.

Meanwhile, Happy Valley Violence had plenty of duds in the loss. They were brought down by seven underperformers, the worst of whom was Rhamondre Stevenson (-1 points). Stevenson set the new low mark this season with that performance.

Miami Muffdivers will be going against Boxboro Blowfish next week. Miami Muffdivers will have long odds to win if Boxboro Blowfish scores another 97.5 points, like they did this week. Boxboro Blowfish will also come into the game undefeated.

In what should be a crawl to the finish, Happy Valley Violence will take on Keystone Longfellows next week in a battle between the two lowest scoring teams in the league. Both teams come into that game licking their wounds after getting thoroughly knocked around by their opponents.

BYE – Dallas Armadillos: 58.5 pts

(1) Performance rank based on how player did vs their positional average
(2) Player didn’t have fewest points on team, but did the worst versus their positional average